I'm sorry it had to be necessary, but I've never been sorry 'I' made the decision. ('' because the doctor threatened to declare me unfit to make my own decisions if I didn't agree to the amputation.. and threatened to have my parents (I was 15 at the time) declared unfit guardians if they disagreed. So it wasn't much of a decision 'I' made) 10 days after the amputation I 'really' walked for the first time in 2,5 years. The phantom pain is not even a fraction of the pain I experienced while I still had my leg.

It's really silly.. because my leg couldn't handle touch, when I lay in bed my leg was always outside the bed. So it hung next to the bed. When I woke up in the hospital after the amputation I was ecstatic that I could raise the railings of the hospital bed. That my leg wasn't 'in the way' anymore.

That's just one (silly) example of the relief the amputation brought.
It's not about the railings - it's about being able to act normal again.

When I still had my leg I averaged 11 hospital visits and therapies a week. (And I was trying to attend school whenever I had the time - yeah, it was insane) Not counting emergency hospital visits because I showed signs of sepsis (those visits averaged 2 per 3 weeks). I didn't have a life.