i am a lifelong bp that didnt get diagnosed till late in life also. i used alcohol to self medicate often. i quit drinking for 13 years in AA. the main focus for me in the program was a statement about about being at the gates of insanity or death and i was at both so i thought i could 12 step my way to mental health...that didnt work...lol. after a severe breakdown about 8 years ago i finally started meds. it was a long long process to find the right ones as i am very sensitive and get all the contact your dr immediately side effects. i tried lithium for a while. it started messing with my thyroid so i got off it. i refuse to tolerate negative side effects. i have been generally stable for many years now. going from rapid cycling to a mania or two a year i think is a success. an those have only happened when my ptsd is triggered or when a doc put me on zoloft for my anxiety. i take wellbutrin when i am depressed and it doesnt trigger mania for me, but everybody is different. zoloft triggered the worse on of my life. i am a spender. i am currently spending, oh am i spending. trying to focus on christmas, but i have also redocorated my living room and given 600 to needy people that have been in crisis. this only happens when i am manic which isnt often. that is when i know i am manic. as for drinking, i can now drink like a normal person. i havent been drunk for years and that was only when i went dancing with friends and we did shots. now i really have no use for more than a couple drinks, if that and very rarely. i have vodka from three years ago still in my house. wine in my fridge for probably five months now.....the sex i never had that issue. but with proper meds that should be managed as well.

the thing with psych meds is there are a ton of them in many classes and they all act in different ways. the doc has all kinds of options and who knows their reasons for choosing one over the others. honestly, sometimes they are getting kickbacks from big pharma for prescribing a particular drug. it is your job as a patient to advocate for yourself. if a drug is not working for you- it is YOUR job to speak up for yourself and tell your doc you want something different. insist if you must. even if you are going to a "free" clinic, your doctor, still works for you. my doctors hated me. i wouldnt stay on a med more than a few months if i didnt like the side effects. i would not tolerate what you describe even if the med was doing some good. i valued my mind and my life and i wasnt having it robbed from me. the purpose of meds was to get better and return my quality of life back. it took me nearly three years and almost every med in existence but we found the right meds that had no negative side effects. you just have to speak up for yourself. good luck