tomb,

what a caring, special role you're playing in your friend's life. i commend you for wanting to understand and being there for her.

there's alot to understand...for you and her both. i think you're right that therapy is what will help and it would take much of it. i wish you well in helping her to obtain that.

so much is demanded of a child suffering long-term abuse...so much...especially when the abuse comes from a parent and family member. lying and manipulation is in the top of those requirements, i think.

that said, the part that was "lying" may not believe what she's saying to be lies. in other words, everything said might be very real to her. my old t once said (when i myself doubted what parts of me were saying) that detail and truth really doesn't matter. if what's being said is truly believed then it has to be addressed because it's affecting at least that part and probably the entire system to some degree. i think that's true. for instance, when all that happened, it did affect the whole in the actions that later took place.

i have no clue as to whether the part that said those things was deliberately "lying" (i hate that word), or believes it to be true.

i do believe that different parts hold different aspects of the same traumas or different traumas altogether. another thing to remember is that parts can get different little pieces of information and knowledge and come to their own conclusions based on their own limitations, capabilities, etc. let's think about a "what if" for instance. what if this part as a child read a book, watched a movie, etc., that triggered what was going on in her real life and with limited understanding it got jumbled because of the relations there? There are so many possibilities.

With DID, those in the person's life need to keep their minds open for any possibilities because trust is PARAMOUNT, disbelief a huge deal-breaker.

I do wish you so well and applaud your attempts to care, understand and help.

KD