You wrote, "Sad thing is I'm starting to sway towards those feelings." Those feelings being knowledge that this relationship isn't healthy for you & ought not to continue. Why sad? You're already learning a lot about relationships through this one--I bet you have from others and will continue to learn--until you meet the right partner for you. That's not "sad"; that's the way of wisdom!

You also wrote, "I've said to him during fights 'If this is my future in marrying you then forget about it.'" Trying to reach someone during a fight is like trying to communicate with someone on drugs, in my experience.

How about saying to him when you're not fighting, when both of you are in a "get-along" mood, "You know, times like this are great. But during fights, especially about your mother, I know that if that is my future in marrying you--then forget about it."

The wisest thing any of your responders have said one way or another, I think, is that that man has to give his partner priority, and if he does then to sever the short leash between him and mom won't be impossible for him.

He needs to takes both these steps before couples therapy might help, in my experience. Of course, both of you would need to be open to that. Are you in therapy now?

roads