Crosstobear - I have repeatedly sabotaged relationships. 1. I have trust issues. I'm afraid if I get to close and invest myself in the relationship, I will get hurt. 2. I have very poor self-esteem. When people start paying me compliments I feel they are being fake and just paying me lip service - or they want something from me. 3. I don't feel worthy of their attention 4. until very recently, I didn't have a great deal of trust or interest in sex. It has mostly been either a weapon against me or an obligation to perform. It was something I tried to avoid.

I surround myself with aquaintances yet allow none of them to become a close friend. When it looks like a relationship is beginning to get close I either back off or sabotage it entirely.