For the most part, when I am working with my patients I am able to separate myself. It becomes all about them; not me. It is more difficult in the mood disorders unit to achieve this separation because it's so close to home. But when I'm working with patients who have psychotic disorders, it's a totally different story. Sometimes I have groups as large as 12-15 so there's no chance to think about myself, as I have to be all over the place at the same time. Last week scared me though because I know I wasn't completely present. I know some of my stuff was seeping in and I didn't like that. I do know that there is no way that I would need a break from it. It is part of what keeps me going. I am also at a loss because I'm on break from school right now and I'm not used to that. It keeps me grounded.

I dread trying medication yet again. I dread the side effects interfering with my functioning more than the depression.