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sister said:

Even at this moment, I am wondering if I want to quit therapy altogether, but my heart tells me that this is an old habit of avoiding pain that I need to get beyond.

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Sister, I know what you mean by this statement. I just went through it earlier this week with my last session.

Don't quit, keep fighting the pain. At least your T tells you in advance so that you have time to think it over. Three weeks is a very long time though.

I've noticed on here that some T's really go away a long time. Mine has only gone about a week at the longest. I don't react much to vacations but canceled sessions is another thing. Thank goodness that has happened lately.

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sister said:
Last week, I had a long conversation with him about connection and disconnection and I felt like I couldn't bear the separation between sessions. We talked about my worries that he will disappear. Now, I feel like I don't have anything to say to him when I see him. Am I just protecting myself? How do you handle these conversations about separations? Are they as intense as I feel them? Sigh.

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Yes they are as intense as you are feeling them. My T and I discussed the pain between sessions many times. I used to get mad at him for saying it is better for us to feel the pain because dependency hurts more than healing.

I'm glad you told him how you feel about it. What did he say in response?