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I'm so sorry for your loss, detfan. These things are not easy to deal with. Allow yourself some down time to grieve. Grieving is the first step to acceptance and recovery. Wishing you the best.
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Do at least one thing you enjoy each day. 
Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits
Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed
"Now I can see all the colors that you see."
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