I didn't decide, well I guess I did decide to keep my kid, but I didn't plan to have a kid. I have some learning issues. I self-diagnosed myself with dyscalculia, which is a numeric form of dyslexia. My mom is dyslexic and also diagnosed herself. But she didn't tell me until I was an adult. My kid's dad has ADD and probably other mental issues as he is immature for his age and has rage issues (He's not violent towards us. Don't worry.) My daughter had developed a global developmental delay. I think she may be dyslexic, too. I've never been focused on trying to label her. I'm more focused on trying to find a solution and seeing what works for her to get ahead.
Parenting isn't about creating perfect kids. It does take more than just unconditional love. You have to be able to love yourself and take care of yourself first before you can love and take care of someone else. This goes for getting into relationships and I have given my kid that wisdom, too, which she is now in a relationship with herself.
No one is a perfect parent. Having a strong support system is essential if you have mental issues as falling into postpartum depression can happen right after labor and it's hard to notice until someone points it out. Before you get pregnant you should discuss with your doc about hormone changes and mood swings. Pregnancy can wreck havoc with even a strong minded gal. It's just something to take into consideration.
If you really want to be prepared you should start taking maternity vitamins now and start reading up on pregnancy and learn some excersizes. When you do get pregnant you should take part in a Lamaz class and cooking classes. The more knowledge and skills you gain now, the easier it will be. You should, also, talk about getting pregnant with some close friends and family so they won't be caught off guard and that way you will know who will be there for you.
I don't think there is a perfect child out there who couldn't be diagnosed with something. It's all about how the parent teaches their kids to cope and the support systems that are in place.
I fell into PPD after I had my kid and I didn't know. I just wanted to sleep. The night wakings and the amount of nursing I had to do over-whelmed me. But I got through it and older my kid got the easier it's become. She's a teen now and I've come to notice how wise beyond her years she is and how compassionate she is. Much of her personality is all her. I did teach her how to be nice and caring, but she is tolerant and accepting. She has way more friends than I ever had growing up. She does get bullied but not the extent that I endured and she has not coped with that like I did where I would try to act like how my bullies acted. She is so confident and has so much self-esteem. She has had some concerns with herself but she resiliently pushed through it. Perhaps I've helped her more than I realize.
I think your psyching yourself out.