I am feeling for you UNCL-D.

You have indicated having a son is problematic. Have you sat down with her to discuss why? Is it that it is distateful? Is it that she is fearful? Is it that she is younger and doesn't feel ready? It could be too that she is nervous about where she will fit in with the dynamics you have with your wife? Talk to her too about what she wants from the relationship and what she wants it to look like? So too let her know your own ideas about the future.

You two may very well come to an agreement on what your relatioship ought to be like.

Have you yet introduced the child into your relationship? This is really important.

Finally, this child should be the most important thing and come first in your life. If she can't accept that then I think you know the decision.

That may not be a bad thing. It doesn't sound like you've had much of a chance experiencing life on your own. In the long run this may be the best thing for you.