Sorry I have to disagree w/ Phreak. I don't think it's psychological. I believe we're all wired differently & some enjoy tender intimacy it can be a turn off to others. I don't think this is atypical sex. I think this is healthy & normal.
But look at what you're taught about relationships from toddler on up. Society does not condone different sexual appetites. Which is why we stay in the dark. Most think it's from a bad past experience. Look at 50 shades. He must be a sadist bec of his past. How about the movie The Secretary. She wanted to be dominated bec she was a cutter. This is hollywood's spin on making everyone "feel better."
I love kink. And it's not bec of my past. It's the way I am!

Now AFA chat rooms I've discovered that most men can talk the talk, but when it comes time to walk the walk they can't. Mom taught them that it was wrong. Society did. Movies did. They must be bad!
Ugh.
Safe. Sane. Consentual. Always