I started out with depression and anxiety early in life. Took a lot of meds over the years. I am well into my 20s now and I got back into 'the game', seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist.

I see my psychiatrist twice a month, and really... the only thing he knows about me is from my own testimony about my moods and feelings of anxiety. Or how I appear when I walk in (low mood, uppity mood, etc)

I am slowly realizing that is how he totally bases his prescriptions off of. I DO have mood swings, I AM afraid of people and have cripplingly low self esteem. But these are situational, environmental, conditional factors - they are caused by the way I live and isolate myself, by being a loner, by feeling alienated. Who wouldn't be depressed and afraid all the time, to live this way?

I am, essentially, prescribing myself medication. He supports titrating down on anything I don't like, I believe he is a good doctor. But I feel stuck, that I have become dependent (4 months now) on drugs and will feel rebound effects, even if I titrate with my doc carefully.

200mg Lamotrigine,
3mg Clonazepam
100 mg Trazodone
150 mg Welbutrin, for the record.

I am going to address this with my doctor the next time I see him and since we work so well together, I know he will agree to titrate me off of them all. Lamotrigine worries me because I JUST hit 200mgs a week ago. To jump up and down with these meds seems dangerous.

I'm just looking for some support, or something. Maybe other people have felt the same way.