I think about my grown kids and how angry they would be with me if I left them. And of course there's my husband, who would be shattered if I committed suicide. That works 99% of the time. The other 1%, now THAT gets scary...I ended up in the hospital that time. It was either going to be the gun or the pills, I just hadn't made up my mind. Thank God I checked myself in when I did. I really thought my loved ones would be better off without me. I don't think like that anymore.