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I'm sorry you are feeling so desperate. Sounds like you have a lot going on. Have you spoken to a professional? If not it would be a good time to consult with one.
Hopefully you'll get more suggestions on PC. I'm sure there are plenty of others that can relate.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha
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