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Justice said:
<font color="#000088">Everything you learned about controlling those urges to cut, and keep yourself from cutting, the coping skills,whatever you did to replace the cutting is still there!</font>

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Thanks, this is what I'm trying to do. Before I just kept myself very very busy and immersed myself in other people's lives to pull me out of my own personal misery. I'm not sure that will work this time though...unfortunately...the lives I am immersing myself in, those of the people closest to me, are all going through this exact same battle right now. One of my friends (who had not self injured in a year or so) was triggered yesterday when he saw my own cuts. I hate myself for letting him see because now it is throwing him into a depressed state again. Now both of us are down...and hopefully not out...yet.

I am trying nonetheless though...

I did it again.
I suck.
I cut that same spot again twice more, every night I do it now. Every night a little deeper, a little more blood. Last night there were "x" cut into my ankles as well. I had to make myself stop.

but i'm trying..i'm fighting...

thank you guys..for listening to my rambles...and for offering understanding..thank you SO much.