Meds were making me worse, so I stopped taking them. My mom said why don't you ask God for help, pray. I listened, for once, and I have felt much less anxious and less depressed ever since. I'm still feeling a little anxious but not out of control, head going to explode anxious, and sad, but not deeply sad like I was feeling. Prayer has really helped me neutralize my feelings.

I think I need to get back into church and start focusing less on myself and more how I can better the world, and other's lives. Like yesterday I repaid $180 of a $480 personal loan from my mom's boyfriend, I signed up for insurance (auto), and today I put $50 toward Thanksgiving groceries, easing the burden on my mom and her guy slightly.

I may have a job starting next Monday. I'll know for sure tomorrow, which is good because I need a little time to grieve my 3rd divorce. Today the papers were signed by us both. Tomorrow may be a big day for me, it may be really over. My car is running again, well I might add. I now have a little time to gather some down payment money, build up my credit a bit. Trade it in and get something I really like.