Hi Firebird,
I know how painful being depressed is. I have bipolar and I've gone into deep depressions. I know that you get asked this alot but, does your pdoc know how you're feeling. Maybe there's something he/she can do in terms of medications. In the meantime..hang in there..I feel bad that you are suffering so..keep sharing where you are. I love it that this site has such caring people. Try to remember that when we're depressed the world looks a lot worst than it is, I try to remember that. It doesn't make my depression go away, but at least I know inside that it's my depression that's making the world look worst than it is.
My prayers are with you,
dorsey