I'm really sorry to hear you're hurting so badly. I used to be a carver myself. Still get the urges when I'm really stressed. What helped me was going from carving, which breaks the skin obviously, to pinching initially, then a friend recommended I draw something pretty where I'd have carved, or to draw something, colour in, etc instead of pinching. Distract with positive things. As far as the home situation, many period live with their parents into their late 20s, even into their 30s. So try to take no shame from that. If you want to move out, work on small goals. I like writing plans, breaking things down into steps. It makes something big and daunting much easier to handle. You can change anything you want to about yourself. You just need to take small steps. And fwiw, overweight people are still very lovable. It's your nature purple will love, every time, not your exterior. Chin up. Tomorrow can always be an amazing day.