They are scary thoughts and it is unsettling to talk about them, do not worry, we have all been there. I am very introverted and have Anxiety and Panic Attacks, only the fear drove me to open up - I was still just rational enough to know I did not want to carry through.

In your case I think it a very good idea to write your thoughts down. Do not ramble, try to stick to cold facts, they will make more of the impression you want to convey, someone rational needing help with this issue driven by Depression.

In the meantime, keep talking here, we are listening.

Dave.