It took me like...32 years to figure out how to set boundaries with my mom. Most of my life. I still struggle with it, I probably always will. It feels like I'm a broken record trying to reinforce the boundaries with her and my father who wants to b**** to me about her. I swear they've gotten more dysfunctional with age, somehow. The rest of the family doesn't have to change or get better for you to change and get better. It's just really really really difficult.