Today i drunk before seeing my T at 10am. i wanted to be more relaxed and open as he wished (and i was) but it was useless since he fired me. i drank afterwards for numbing the pain of rejection, at around 11.30am. had a meeting for work then drank again a little later (from 1 to 3 pm) while i was having class and fell asleep in my car for 1 hour (went there during break) and then went back to class. now i'll take my sleeping pills hoping to just forget today and have the strength to face another day tomorrow. i HATE LIVING SO MUCH.