it is difficult for sure. i put pieces together for myself over the years, and my psychiatrist for the last 10 years acknowledges it is real for me. but i go back and forth between accepting it and denying it. i deny it when things are stable and there is no real dissociation..but then when it happens, i cannot deny it and then get scared. then i come to accept it again, but i have no active communication with mine and haven't since 2007 or so.

i knew of several up until 2007, but then when the communication stopped, i stopped knowing who was who. i used to either hear their voice or know who they were based on the feeling (gender, age, characteristics, etc.) i do have some with no name and recently have had other ones surface who i do not know if they are new or always existed but one at least was not one i knew prior to 2007. it is very confusing trying to sort things out for myself when i used to know them and now don't..i fear more are being created or else i'm imagining things or else i have just lost touch and have no idea anymore..it's....strange..

i have some angry alters though, two or three older males (one with a name and two without) and one younger who i don't quite know much about (just a few times in my life i've had them come out for brief periods). they can be pretty scary.