Hi Lost, Thank you for your honesty, not want i want to hear right now but starting to feel like you are right and as difficult as it will be, calling it a day and moving on might be fr the best.

Havng said that, the intense feelings i have for her being the one are hard to stop. We are so good together and all the common interests, the little unique 'our' things we have (jokes, sayings etc) i feel like i will never get that again, especially with me having baggage. Feel like 'all the good ones are taken' and 'no one worthwhile will want me with a son'. Over critical and harsh maybe, but i find it hard to think otherwise (because of confidence and insecurity)

rcat, I find myself doing things i enjoy but getting no joy from them. there are things i like doing but get no satisfaction from them when im not with her. so its hard to break the cycle.

i am happier doing something i dont like or find boring with her, than doing something i love with mates. i dont know why though? its so destructive and demoralising