I hear my father's voice in my head all the time. I'm sure his words still have a lot of influence over my life. The thing is, since I went no-contact with him, I don't make my decisions based on what he'd say or think any more. He's no longer a factor.

Of course, I still hear his voice in my head. He was in my life for 30 years. But just like after a breakup with a monster ex, eventually it slacks off. You feel their influence less. Time is on your side.

Don't beat yourself for not being ready to live in the real world. Parents are there to model and teach us how to adapt to life when we fly the nest. When they fail us, entering that world is tumultuous. But you can figure this out. You have all the equipment anyone else has. You just need time to adapt.

Try to take the time to pause and ask yourself "Is this my rule or their rule? Is this what I want or what they would want" -- or whatever applies in the moment. You're still finding YOUR voice and identity, things that are suppressed by abuse. Give yourself time to develop those things and eventually it will be second nature, the voice in your head will be authentically yours.

Remember:
1. Nobody has any idea what the heck they're doing.
2. You are much stronger than most people.