Hi, I don't have a specific question its more of a rant really. I usually get really stressed and emotional at work. I try and keep my temper at work but its hard and it affects not just my working life but also my home life. I cope by overeating and drinking too much but as we all know this is not healthy.

I have a difficult home life also. My wife has serious psychological problems and she struggles to accept things. My son has Aspergers. I also have a teenage daughter. I have no real friends to turn to since I have relationship difficulties, so I can't really make friends.

I also have a lot of stress in my life. I work full time. I also work part-time as a tutor for a distance learning university. And I run a hiking club.

I work as a software developer and my work is very important to me. I feel the management don't listen to me, and that they don't respect me. I am the only software developer there, I know about how to develop programs and they don't. I have been working in computing since 2002, and I've been a programmer for 3 years now. I have a degree in computing and a PhD in artificial intelligence.

I struggle to form relationships at work and I've observed people from a distance ridiculing me (I am obese).

A couple of times I have lost my temper at work, usually its little flare-ups but one time I went in the lift and screamed and shouted at people and had to apologise. I struggle to control my anger.
I have mood swings and some mornings can be hell. I am taking citalopram at the moment but not sure it will help.

I am responsible for creating a large program at work and because of the way the company manages things, I am concerned that they are going to ruin the project and I will get the blame. But in my last job I was upset because the work was so hard, the project was failing and I hated my boss. In the job before that I struggled to find a niche in the company and I didn't get on well with people and lost my temper. In the job before that, I couldn't get on with my boss. Before my PhD, I had a job that I hated as I hardly did anything all day, there was no work for me. In the job before that I was overworked and subject to workplace bullying.

I can't remember the last time I was happy at work. So I am all wound up internally about the problems at work, but I know in 6 months they will have changed, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Why can't I just relax about things and leave work in the office? But it stresses me constantly. And its not just stress, its anger and guilt. I think the anger makes me drink more than the stress.