Hello

I started therapy a while ago after a good ten year break even then it's very different this time it's my choice and I am no longer a young adult/teenager and much more stable. Or was.

I have issues with attachment, I have borderline PD. I avoid attachments and friendships as my life spirals out of control when I have attachments. I lead a real isolated life but ive been free of self harm.

Since starting seeing T I've got really attached and developed probably quite a big attachment to her. I havent told her of my BPD label though she is experienced and knows my issues. I fear my attachment so much and it hurts so much when I am not with her that I've resorted to self harming to take the pain away. This is a secret from her. I don't know what to do. It just ****ing hurts. I can't say 'you make me want to cut my arms to pieces because you can't love me' can I?

Maybe I should abandon therapy now and accept attachments are just not worth the pain.