About church groups or spiritual groups: I have "belonged" to them and the funny thing is, once you get to know the people in these groups you find that a lot of other people feel like they don't fit in, either. In fact, spiritual centers attract a lot of people who are suffering with feeling isolated. A minister once told me church groups and spiritual centers are like hospitals. People go there to heal, not necessarily to party. In some ways it is true, although my meditation center had amazing feasts and celebrations.

I realize I do best in structured friendships around a single focus. In the past I was friends with "horse people". "meditators", "Ikebana practitioners" -- that's Japanese flower arranging, etc. Through church groups, work, volunteering...there would be friends around a specific focus...some single, some married, with kids etc.

I don't do well in free flowing friendships, meeting for coffee, chit chat, and the like. I find small talk a waste of time, and irritating. I prefer community events over private parties.

I hate to talk on the phone, and only text when necessary. I do social media very selectively.

In the end there is never a "perfect fit" and grand friendships are rare, although they do happen.

I think everyone kind of feels in the middle. You are just brave enough to admit it. I like your honesty. It's really refreshing.