The memories are chocking me, I feel like I can't breathe. I have tried writing them down, that helped a little. I just am so scared, I don't know what to do. It hurts so bad to remember. I hate myself right now so much. I hate others too, but mostly me. It was all my fault, I ask for it. It's all my fault. I should have done something, but I didn't I just took it. I hated it so much. I just wish the memories would go away. I am afraid to sleep. I am afraid of the nightmares. I can;t even turn out the lights. I don't sleep hardly at all anymore, I am so tired. I can't close my eyes. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and alone. I hate me and I hate my life. I feel like I am a worthless piece of crap. I am just in so much pain right now and I don't know how to define the emotions. Theyare just there. I hate me. I can't believe I allowed all this to happen. It is all my fault. I am so confused and scared. I don't know what to do.