two days ago,i was out on a camping trip with family and freinds,having a great time.Now however i feel low,ive been having dreams of suicide for two nights now,they are playing through my mind during my waking hours too. This has happened many times over the past year or so,my doctor,i'm sure he thinks there is nothing wrong with me as i still have not had the treatment i was promised(CBT).I have been given anti-depressants 9 months ago but i have been taking myself off them oveer the last few weeks,without consulting my doctor,because i couldnt sleep on them and need sleeping meds wich the doctor refuses to prescribe anymore.I feel pretty confused right now and to top it off 3 of my best freinds have left work to pursue new goals,so now i feel like i have no one to confide in.my post is erratic i know.I've not posted for a long while i dont know why,i guess ive been trying to convince myself everything is fine.Im just not sure what to do right now.