Hard to explain really

they (my wife, ot and consultant) seemed under the impression things were going well but I had that unsettled niggling feeling that some point was being badly overlooked.
Today was like a massive bite in the arse and I have been 'struggling' excessively including si, intent and just loosing faith in everything and everyone around me.
Sorry for being glum, just very confused and upset.
There is another lad on the ward with aspergers, though unlike me (I have ways to deal with over stimulus moments) kickes off a lot... Sometimes I wish I could just give in to that side of me... But I feel such shame afterwards that it's counterproductive.
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Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK