Same here. I was "allowed" to visit after a 10 year distancing. I actually didn't want to do the visit - a big "to do" with all the other siblings and their spouses involved - everyone having to travel from all around the country. I insisted I didn't have the money for a place ticket, which I didn't, and then two siblings chipped in and bought my ticket. Wouldn't this all have been lovely if it had been done before the oldest sibling was dying??? It was a difficult visit simply because it was so lovely and sweet to see everyone. Too little, too late. Everyone was stressed and drank too much wine except my sister and myself. We didn't drink. She looked awful. I wish we had spent time together before she was dying, but this was how she chose to do it. I'm still working through trauma from that period of time and it has been 18 months. Needless to say since then I have been doing a lot of work on keeping healthy boundaries, in every day life. So that was my sister's legacy to me.