There are all kinds of relationships possible and sounds like you have a bit of a combative one with your therapist. That could be a very good thing but it is not a bad one! There's nothing "wrong" with you (or him) for having these troubles, therapy is often like the "weather" and there is rain, strorms, too many hot, dry days, etc. as well as beautiful Spring or Fall days! To me, it sounds like you're "worrying" too much about who is doing what to whom and how and whether everyone likes it. If you were "taught" a crummy way to interact it is going to be a long time before you can interact in any other way as it is all a process! You can't very well start first grade and then graduate from high school the next week? I would keep seeing this therapist and battling back and forth, seeing if you can listen to him better and try out some of the things he suggests and look to see why he won't "do" what you want him too, etc. Whenever I didn't like what my T was saying/doing I tried to remind myself that she had been doing therapy with lots and lots of clients for many years whereas I had only had a relationship with her and none of my own bright ideas :-) on how to feel better seemed to work so well so what did I have to lose trying hers? I also worked on getting my "fatalist" attitude where rather than fight for her to go "my" way I might as well go hers, even if it was/felt wrong as I'm probably not going to get a whole lot "worse" and, being "stubborn" :-) and a "natural" resister, if things were going worse, my inner Self would probably take over and put the brakes on things anyway!

I began to realize I was like a medieval fortress and that I could cue the defenders to raise the drawbridge, drop the portcullis and ready the boiling pitch on the roof and alligators in the moat before my T could blink so I was always unconsciously protecting myself better than anyone else could and thus I could relax a bit and try some scary things, knowing my defenders had gotten me "this" far so I was still biting, kicking and screaming :-) and there was no indication that they wouldn't keep on doing so. So, go out and thumb your nose at some of the things that frighten or upset you and do "scientific" experiments on what happens nowadays (which are wholly different from back "then" when things were bad).