I am supposed to tell and really should/need to tell because this year has brought a big change in how psychosis presents for me and the drs. need to know that. Maybe I've been too afraid I'd be started on clozaril sooner if I told and I really wanted this last month before dealing with that.

I am somehow afraid that telling will make something bad happen. But I know that this is something that qualifies in the things I promised to let them know about list.

It just feels like it is too much of my thoughts or something.