I am a lisenced vet tech. You are providing your cat with shelter, adequate food, and love. That is what matters. I PM'd you with some practical suggestions about diet and vaccines and how to plan for emergencies/health issues. We do the best that we can. Unfortunatley, we just about always outlive our pets. We provide for them as best as we can while they are here and you are doing that. This furry friend is causing you anxiety instead of providing relief. Fear of what may come tomorrow is robbing you of your joy today. Reversing this mindset is tough.. I struggle with it, too. Good luck