Through therapy, I have started to learn that someone's actions repeatedly not meeting their words is manipulation in itself. I used to always blame myself for being too hard on people, and in fact, have been told I should cut people more slack my whole life. Sometimes it's important to simply be proud of yourself for recognizing the inconsistencies, though. Many people don't. Many people choose to look the other way. It's okay to put yourself first. I think a lot of us are empaths and want so badly to make others' pain go away that we sometimes end up taking on the burden of that pain ourselves, but it's not our job! He has to want to take care of himself first!

I hope you start to feel better soon. You have the strength to stand up for yourself. Giving into his lies is just another way of enabling. Maybe it helps to think about your standing up to him as setting a boundary, which can only help the both of you in the long run. Hugs!