Misdiagnosed x8 years. Finally started meds for bipolar one month ago. Now I see myself clearly for the first time in a long long time! My husband is my rock we have 4 kids, I stay home with the youngest two. Really a great life, and then there's the elephant. Now the biggest fear I have is really seeing myself. Knowing the racing thoughts and fantasies are far more than crazy. They are disgusting, violent, unimaginable in a normal human brain. How do I deal with this? I have no shame with being bipolar. I'm the first to say hey I'm crazy, actually that's one of the first things I told my amazing husband 8 years ago. But now now I know the difference. I can see it, feel it. I've told him a few things. Things that I would never act on but they are there still the same. Do I push through and talk about the morbidity. The little I have told I feel much better about. But will a normal person be able to carry this burden? This is all so new. I have no fear he will take advantage of my illness, he is the angel on my shoulder. But will he feel the shame of it? Do others with bipolar have these thoughts or am I dealing with something entirely different. I just don't know where to turn for the answer. Can someone please help!