Of course. I'm not saying there should be zero dating. And it has nothing to do with friendships or taking risks, per se. I'm talking from experience with what I saw my daughter go through. All throughout grade 7 she was in and out of relationships. Out of the 3 people she was with 1 lied about her age and was wanting to take it further with my daughter. My kid was smart and backed away. She told me about it later and was deeply disturbed. Another week long relationship, rumors started among peers because the idiot was saying he was already sexually active, or so the others were saying. My daughter became scared and upset to the point she didn't want to go to school. My daughter started cutting and became depressed. She was crying a lot and didn't want to do much of anything. I noticed her personality was darker than the previous year. When I intervened and she broke up with her last relationship that was it. After a relaxing summer, she realized how bad it was and we talked a lot about where she stood on relationships. I suggested no more relationships. Dating is okay but on a casual basis. But she has confirmed she is in a relationship with herself. This is a self-discovering and self-healing process that she is taking and I think it's quite commendable and mature that she is taking this on herself. By all means, I didn't say she had to be in a relationship with herself. That's all her. That's her personality, in fact. She is bright, wise, goofy, happy, bubbly, sensitive. I went on board with this. As her mother, I'm her biggest fan and supporter. I'm now guiding her in making sure she doesn't wind up where she was earlier this year. That's my duty as a parent. Of course she is going to make her own decisions. But I know she is not old enough to always know what is good for her or know what is being offered to her is what it is. My mom threw up her hands and gave up on parenting when I was a teen. It will be a cold day in Hades if I slump into that mode of thinking, myself. Of course I would NEVER call my daughter a mistake or regret she was ever born. But I do know that I would be in a better situation in terms of my own personal love life and have more success in education and careers if my mom was more supportive and present in my life, rather than go out every weekend and go through boyfriend after boyfriend.
I guess that's where it comes from. I'm learning the opposite from my mom and integrating more stringent values. I think it's working because I see the outcome in my daughter. I'm not a tiger mom but with her struggles in school, development delays and possible learning disabilities, I just think her energies should be focused on school, building up her confidence and getting to know who she is. Romantic relationships are distractions right now. There's plenty of time later on to focus on that.