You seem like you have a lot of questions in life that therapy can help you understand. Also some trust issues as well. Are you diagnosed with any MI? My thought pattern and anger was a lot like yours when I was younger and undiagnosed. Luckily I got some medication and therapy and moved out of an abusive home that I grew up in.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN