That's the only place it is. It is your head. Tell it to leave you alone, that you will not entertain such ugly thoughts, that you do not want them and it's your head and you are in charge.

Glad it wasn't too bad. I went to my stepsister's son's house and I hadn't seen my grandnieces and nephews for 3-4 years and they are all grown up and I knew nothing about them. Families change, grow and shrink and rearrange. I don't think your son will leave you, you will eventually have a daughter-in-law and grandchildren, etc. With my husband just deceased and no children of my own, my stepsons have not deserted me or anything; it's hard forging new relationships but possible.