You have raised an issue in your life. Why don't you seek help from a councillor or group on how to heal you heart and life from the effects of alcoholism. I was so happy to find I didn't have to be superman any more. If something is too hard for me to deal with, I let myself cry and take a break when I need it. Keeping the focus on me, helps me be kinder to others because I am being kind to myself. It is also manageable which is really nice.