</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sunrise said:
pink, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. ((((hugs)))) It made me happy to read that you enjoyed playing with your birds. Keep doing the little things that can help you feel better, only if they help only an iota. Every little bit counts.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil wrote:
I dread trying medication yet again. I dread the side effects interfering with my functioning more than the depression.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I hear ya, as I am not a big proponent of meds either. But you have tried psychotherapy and it seems not enough for you right now, even with your very skilled and empathetic T. It sounds like right now, you have less need than usual to function at a high level since you are not in school. Could this be the time to try new meds? I know you are still working with patients, but maybe, even though you find that helpful, you could take a break from that too to coincide with your school break. Then, with even less need to function at a high level, you could try some new meds and give them a chance to get established and help. I feel you will probably reject that idea, but sometimes it can be helpful to get stuff off of our plate so we can really focus on our own well-being. I'm worried about you.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thank you so much for your caring words. Unfortunately, I cannot take a break from my internship because in order to graduate, I need 700 hours. If I took a break that could seriously infringe on the amount of hours, and cause me not to fulfill the requirements. I really believe my internship is what keeps me going. Of course it does impede my ability to want to try meds becasue I don't want them to interfere with my functioning. With the mental stuff, somehow I can still function at my internship. With bad side effects, I can't. Same goes for my regular job. School starts up again in two weeks anyway. I actually can't wait. Seems the more I have on my plate, the better I do. Strange. As for right now, I really don't know what I'm gonna do. I have therapy tomorrow.. I think T and I are going to disuss some more serious target stuff to help me because my symptoms and behaviors are not lessening.