I was a high functioning alcoholic. I had a full time job and a car and was living with my god parents. I'm 23. Drinking slowly became an everyday part of my life. When I got off work I'd go get beer, liquor, or wine. I alternated going to different liquor stores so they wouldn't think I was an alcoholic, which I was denying myself at the time. As time went on I began to spend money on alcohol instead of thing I actually needed (needed deodorant one day-was completely out-and got alcohol instead). Over a year ago there were several deaths to people close to me and I began to drink all day everyday. 3 beers before work, 1 or 2 during break, shots throughout the day, and continuously when I got off. not to mention the hydros and pot. One of my best friends then broke my heart. My godparents are against drinking and eventually kicked me out. Of course my explanation was they were prudes and just against drinking and judging the fact that I did drink. I knew that wasn't true as they didn't even know the full extent of my drinking. I made a habit of hiding bottles and cans for weeks until I remembered on trash day. One month it was 3 large trash bags full of cans and bottles. I moved in with my sister who always joked I was an alcoholic and could outdrink anyone. While living with her I was fired from my job (too busy not caring, smoking, and drinking to charge my phone to know I was not off but had been supposed to work- 2 days in a row). I left my sisters house and moved in with my alcoholic cousin. We were supposed to stop drinking together but instead just drank together. She had recently got a dui and lost her jobs. Eventually our power got shut off and we were forced to move into a hotel which my bf at the time paid for. He was also an alcoholic and on pain pills. We all got into constant fights which led to us all turning against one another and my bf threatening me telling me he would slit my throat. I'm now living with my aunt who does not know the extent of my drinking but is figuring it out. She will not allow a drunk to live with her and my parents wont either. I don't want to expose all my issues to the rest of my family. If my aunt kicks me out I have nowhere else to go. For the first time I am genuinely afraid of what will happen. I'm only drinking at this point but with no money it's hard to keep it up. I sneak my aunts truck while shes at work and have stolen change from her to buy my own liquor instead of drinking all of hers like I have been. It's my second day without a drink and I'm trembling, feeling anxious, depressed, and have a headache. I don't want to go to rehab for months as I just don't and I have a cat I absolutely love. I'm just at the end of my ropes...