Thanks for your best wishes. I think that I am quite depressed at the moment. The other day I cried a little at the end of the day - because I felt OK. And OK felt MUCH better than I normally feel. So I realised just how down I've been.

I have realised I am looking for work to gratify me emotionally. I am looking for my job to make me feel better. And often its the opposite.

Whether I'll ever get a job which fulfils that role I am not so sure.

You sound happier after your "switch flip". Maybe one day a switch will flip in me!