I hope this helps. If you are not seeing a therapist, I recommend you find one. You will benefit from having someone help you untangle the upsetting threads of your life. You might also consider AA meetings and Overeaters Anonymous meetings. Nonjudgmental support can be very comforting and helpful--and this is something you can do just for yourself. This might be a good way for you to address your food and drink and relationship issues. One of the things I noticed about IT departments and personnel is that they are often better with things--ideas, programs, data-- than people. View your job as a paycheck and keep concerns project related on the job. Stop 'seeing' the bullies making fun of your appearance; stop seeing it as acceptable to lose your temper on the job, stop hoping you will like your boss and start focusing on whatever the task is at hand and at quitting time: stop thinking about work.

I've worked with some truly horrible people. I know how disheartening it can be. But once you find more enjoyment in the other parts of your life, your job will recede in importance.

In my opinion, the workplace has changed. People no longer see the need or benefit in being civil or courteous or team-oriented. But it isn't politic to point that out, so I just get along the best I can and look for personal fulfillment elsewhere.