Quote:
Originally Posted by CopperStar
Idunno, "laziness" seems a little subjective to me based on my experiences and observations over the years. Like even when I am extremely low or starting to lose my marbles, I can usually still force myself to go through the motions of daily life. But, it is very exhausting and also makes me slowly but surely worse. Then mu history shows a pattern where every time, I eventually go completely nuts and my whole life falls completely apart. So the impression I've gotten over the years is that in order to "not be lazy" I need to be ready to sacrifice everything repeatedly, whereas for other people, "not being lazy" means cleaning their house even when they would rather watch a movie. Or something. So I would say it's all about perspective.
|
Thank you! When I was young and very depressed, my mom made sure I worked; I was never really able to hold down a job until I was 18 (movie theater) because of my paranoia and panic attacks but I wasn't allowed to stay in bed either. It was wretched for me and it caused damage, I think, as I had SO MUCH ANXIETY around working at the time. That said, my butt wasn't on the couch. Then, until I had my psychotic break at 28 (almost 29), I was very capable of working, even when I stayed home with my kiddos, and I did so very well. Ever since then, however, it seems impossible.
I am sorry you are experiencing depression again and I hope it is very short lived and does not effect your job. I know that must be so hard for you. My therapist is very anti no meds. She says she will only see me if I stay on them as was the case for me and, she says, so many others, it eventually causes a psychotic break. I don't know how I feel about that though as there seem to be many around this board who do well with no meds. I always like to think that some day I will be able to try it again. Meds don't seem to work for me anyway.