There's not much that relaxes me though. We've tried giving each other massages, but giving a massage makes me anxious. It works alright if I give him a massage first, but it's still not ideal.

And since we only get to be alone together maybe once a week or so, there is pressure to have sex then. We're just too busy otherwise to have more opportunities right now. We spend plenty of time together, just a lot of it is in public. That should change on breaks from school or when we're both out of school.

I also have issues trusting men in general and in giving consent when I don't mean to give consent. There's never been pressure from him but I feel too guilty saying no. Also, I don't know how to explain to him how to get me to relax. I guess if he concentrated on me first, that would help. Intercourse feels better if I've already orgasmed, but it just seems cruel to make him wait that long to have his own orgasm. On the other hand, no matter how much he tries to stay engaged, he is at least partially checked out after having an orgasm. That's probably normal for guys though, right?