I'm not sure it matters what I call it, but I have a frequent emotional response to men who have, or who I perceive to have a significant advantage over me. I especially struggle when that advantage is beyond my having or achieving.

I believe that our emotions are signs or markers pointing us toward or away from something. Fear is announcing a threat; anger that a boundary has been crossed; joy that some benefit has come our way, and so on. They're a call to action or a signal of some action having paid off.

So WTF is envy? I guess it could be a warning that we are lagging behind, but so often the things I envy aren't within my power to have. So then why that emotion?

And my questioning whether I'm envious in the strictest sense comes from my not wishing ill will toward the person I envy, and not wanting them to lose the quality that seems to benefit them. So even though sabotaging someone else's success is a crappy thing to do and I'm grateful that I don't want to do that, since I can't typically get what they have or take it away, the emotion doesn't serve much purpose. It just pokes me with a sharp stick, and I feel unable to do anything, ethical or not, to stop it.