I can totally relate. I was just diagnosed back in June. I've always been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety (including intrusive thoughts). The thoughts are just thoughts. I guarantee your husband knows that otherwise he wouldn't still be with you. My husband is my angel as well. I've told him tons of stuff but he is unique. At one time he was getting his masters in counseling. He knew what was real and what wasn't. I look back on all the destructive things I've done while manic and I'm sick over it. Literally sick! However, Fharraige is right, we must have compassion for ourselves. It wasn't me doing those things. I've cheated, I've had two DWI's, and treated my DH horribly during the worst times of it all. It wasn't until he went with me in June and described what happens before a manic episode that my psychiatrist look incredulous and knew exactly what it was! I had been on Cymbalta for 7 years and found out it can cause mania. I'm now off of it and only on Lamictal and Xanax. I tried Lithium and Depakote and couldn't take them. Plus, I put on 24 pounds since June because of them! Ugh!

I would say to give yourself about 2-3 months and see how you are doing before deciding if you want to share everything with your husband. Remember that right now your brain chemistry is all over the place until you are stabilized.

Hugs