The symptoms you've described sound a lot like dysmorphic mania. You should google it. Because it's deff not ok to feel the way you're feeling. At least it's not a "normal" feeling.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN