When I see where you're from, I can understand why this is distressful to you. I've chatted with several men from that culture and know that homosexuality is greatly frowned upon. Some of the ones I have chatted with have gone ahead and married, just to satisfy the expectations of their family. But I personally do not recommend that; I married so that I could meet the requirements for the religious calling I felt I had, but all the marriage did was produce two very unhappy people for 27 years, at which time my wife left me.

From your post, it isn't clear to me whether you personally feel you're more attracted to men than to women. Either way, my strong personal opinion, from my own experience, is that one doesn't choose to be either homo- or heterosexual. My feeling is that one becomes that way very early in life, if not at birth, so later in life, when one eventually has to choose which he is going to be, he realizes he has always been that way. I realize that not everyone does agree with me, especially certain religious and cultural groups. But that has been my own personal experience.